i am me

Dear Steven

Sun, 18 May 2008 15:33:06 GMT

Dear Steven,

I miss you so much. Why did you hurt me? I am so completely numb right now. I cannot feel things anymore. My heart was stolen from me and I want it back. You said you would never hurt me and I believed you. You said we were forever.. That's what I wanted to. My love for you was real. Tears keep rolling down my face because of this pain you caused me. Why did you hit me? Are you sorry you did? I never would have thought you would be the one to do this to me. There is a void inside of me that will never be filled again because it's a permanent scar you left. My emotions have vanished and the only thing I can feel is sadness. I thought we had a plan. I thought we were going to get married and have children and live happily ever after. I would have loved you forever but I guess you didn't want me to. I have read the poem you wrote me over and over wondering what happened to your love.. I would have moved to Chicago for you. I would have done anything for you. Because I loved you with my entire heart. I loved you with everything I had. I know I can never be with you again but I miss you. I miss LOVING YOU, watching plane documentaries, ATVing, cuddling with you, cooking with you, being a happy lil clam, road trips ("oh look, a bell"), being sicky, dancing to your music, climbing into your bed and making the system, hugging you, Pismo Beach, a lil egg, waking up in your arms and saying "I love you", The Bank Job, your eyes, kissing you, the butterflies, knowing we were meant to be, Mount Hamilton on empty, text messages that made me smile, watching planes take off and land (missed approach!), camping, LOVING YOU, salt water taffy, visiting you at work, your family, saying the same thing at the same time, 21, getting lost jetskiing on the Delta, clam chowder at Sabella and La Torre, holding you close to me, Duarte's, getting up early so I could see you for an hour before I had to go to work, Chicago, going to Long's that one night, being with you, reading your mind and you reading mine, Cache Creek for the day, White Castle!, "Love" by Keyshia Cole, "I Think I Love You" by Dwele, "Make Ya Feel Beautiful" by Ruben Studdard, TGI Friday's, my Honey Bear, "oh, oh ok..", Harold and Kumar 2, LOVING YOU.. There is so much more I need to say but I can't seem to right now. I am miserable because of what you did. I miss you but I don't want to because you hurt me. Did you ever really love me?

Love,

Alison

Why?

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 20:02:20 GMT

RIP Eric Chen 1980-2007

You will be missed.

Eric passed away on July 25th 2007 from cancer. He was a 2002 graduate from UC Berkeley. I hope he is in a better place now.

Pee in your pants funny!!!

Fri, 11 May 2007 18:02:26 GMT

Great ideas

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 06:18:11 GMT

My friend Robb and I had a brilliant idea tonight! I hope it happens!!!!

Hell YES

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 23:35:43 GMT

I don't need surgery!!! HELL YEAH!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

Grouch and Zion-I videos

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 21:23:54 GMT

Happy Green Day!

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 22:34:54 GMT

Quote of the night

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 12:02:32 GMT

Guy to this girl: "Nice meeting you..what's your name??"

Hahaha!! That's the way to get a girl in bed!!

Words to live by

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 23:10:20 GMT

"Living well is the best revenge."

Bikram Yoga

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 04:03:12 GMT

I tried Bikram Yoga today! That was my new thing for February.. It was insanely hot the second we started. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make it through the entire one and a half hours. They tell you not to eat 2-3 hours before and to drink plenty of water 24 hours before. I was able to do most of the poses but balance is the key. It was hard to get my body into certain positions but the heat made it a little easier. I feel so incredibly cleansed and at peace right now. Right after the class, I sat down in a chair and felt amazing. It's weird how Bikran Yoga does that to you. I purchased 10 days for $10 so I have 9 more days to try it out. It is something I would like to do once a week because I could see it benefiting me really well. I would not be as stressed out and I would be more flexible doing everyday things. It's kind of expensive though which is the only turn off for me.. But I will probably go back tomorrow!

Hair hair

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 21:18:35 GMT

Wow. My hair is the longest it has been in years. 12 years, in fact. My plan? To grow it out to the middle of my back and then chop it all off. I want to donate my hair, which is hasn't been dyed in 3 years, to women with breast cancer. Apparently, my hair is ideal because it's "healthy" and uncolored. It's going to be weird having long hair but worthwhile..

Feelin' good

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 01:32:25 GMT

I feel fucking fantastic!

Canopy

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 07:09:33 GMT

I've always wanted one and now I have it. Putting it up was a PITA but it's so worth it! I ♥ it!!!

Weather

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 07:05:14 GMT

"Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation."

- Kin Hubbard

2007 Begins

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 07:27:17 GMT

Happy New Year y'all!!!

It's a new year. New beginnings, new friendships, new experiences, new trips, new memories.. I am very excited for this new year to begin. It's supposed to be a great one for me.

I will try to update my LJ more often. I have just been lazy and feel like I have nothing to write about. (Even though there is really a lot.) Haha.

My birthday present from the parents

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 00:32:46 GMT

Isn't it sexy? It's a 7.1 Channel A/V Receiver that is XM ready! I can't wait to hear how this baby sounds!!! I will take pictures of my new set-up this week. Should be up by Sunday night!

Good deeding

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 19:45:35 GMT

"Through our willingness to help others we can learn to be happy rather than depressed."

- Gerald Jampolsky

This year, instead of buying food and toys for people who need them, I am going to be volunteering my time at food banks and hospitals. I have a lot of free time on my hands nowadays and want to help those who aren't as lucky as you or me. It makes me feel good knowing I can help people instead of dicking around during the holidays.

Portable heaters

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 19:55:44 GMT

I just got me a portable heater from The Home Depot ! It's nice and warm now..

The shoes!

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 04:09:24 GMT

The wedding is less than a month away!!! I can't believe it's almost here!!

So true

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 07:02:59 GMT

Sometimes people come into your life | And you know right away that they are meant to be there | They serve some sort of purpose | Or help figure out who you are | And who you want to become | When you lock eyes with them | You know at that very moment that they will affect your life | In some profound way | And sometimes things happen to you | And at the time they seem painful and unfair | But in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles | You would have never realized your potential strength, will power, or heart | Everything happens for a reason | Nothing happens by chance | Or by means of good or bad luck | Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity | All occur to test the limits of your soul | Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses, or relationships | Life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere | Safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless | The people you meet who affect your life | And the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are | And even the bad experiences can be learned from | In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones | If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart | Forgive them | For they have helped you learn about trust | And the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart | If someone loves you | Love them back unconditionally | Not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love | And opening up your heart and eyes to things you would have | Never seen or felt without them | Make every day count | Appreciate every moment | And take from it everything that you possibly can | For you may never be able to experience it again | Talk to people you have never talked to before | And actually listen | Let yourself fall in love | Break free and set your sights high | Hold your head up | Because you have every right to | Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself | For if you don't believe in yourself | No one will believe in you either | You can make of your life anything you wish | Create your own life | And then go out and live in it | Live each day as if it were your last

Saw III

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 21:06:49 GMT

I saw it this morning and it was really fucking crazy. I liked it so. I have been a fan since the first. It is better than the second one too.

Halloween madness!

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 00:39:53 GMT

Well, it was between a Tin Woman or a sexy black bat..

They are so cool and made of black feathers! I think I am going to make some cookies too.

Ew

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 09:20:19 GMT

This guy I met tonight: "I know you want to make out with me."
Me: "No, I don't."

I hate that shit!!

Here is the dress I am wearing for the wedding! I think it's really pretty..

Formula what?

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 22:48:33 GMT

I used to have black slip on Vans back in the day but these are 10x cooler!!!

OMG

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 23:55:37 GMT

I am going to be a Bridesmaid!!!!!